Two weeks ago, you guys shocked me with an amazing Father's Day gift-certificates to look and smell good. I was so surprised by the offer of love that I grappled with regaining my composure to preach. I even enjoyed the mini roast coming from Elizabeth Moore, Paul Meggett, or Church Mothers-Mama Lottie and Mama Waller.
The rest of my day was a reminder of the beauty of fatherhood. Julian, the son of Kathy-my first wife, made me a t-shirt and gave me a big hug after telling me "I love you daddy." On last year I made a commitment to love Julian as my own child. It all started after my mentor, Dr. Jeremiah Wright, scolded me for not being more like Joseph. After much prayer and countless tears, I sucked it up and decided to be the dad Julian needed.
The week that followed pointed me in a different direction. On Tuesday, Quincy Bowens was murdered while shielding his two year-old cousin from bullets coming from a drive by shooter. Two days later I received word of the death of Decarlo Polk. The death of these teenagers forced me to rethink the meaning of fatherhood within the context of the plight facing today's youth.
It didn't help that one of the kids I mentor has been forced to enroll in summer school after failing three classes. His academic shortcomings means he will not be promoted to the next grade level until the second semester of the next academic school year. I've been troubled in watching the faces of the young men and women as they walk into class. I can't help but wonder what led to their academic troubles?
Is it a consequence of some issue within the family? I've discovered that the general public has a tendency to oversimplify things. People are quick to blame the decline in morals combined with the deterioration of the family for high crime, substance abuse, teenage pregnancy, gang activity and the achievement gap.
It is true that raising boys void of a strong male presence is asking for trouble. I have learned that the quandary isn't with hard working moms, but with dads who are too consumed with their own existence to find time to provide a way to support their own children. I'm troubled at how the issue of child support takes attention away from what it means to be a real father.
Fathers are present beyond a court ordered support payment. They take time to teach their boys about manhood. It's sad to say that many fathers can't teach their sons about manhood because they haven't become men yet. You can't teach what you don't know. I'm infuriated at how problems between mama and the baby daddy cause chaos in the life of a boy seeking to develop an identity.
On Father's Day, I held gifts in my hand. There were those coming from the people of the church. I gazed at them and thanked God for being part of a loving caring congregation. In the other hand I held gifts from my children: King, Lenise and Krista. I sucked up the tears that came in regarding God's grace in helping them grow into becoming the man and women they are today. This despite my many shortcomings. More tears followed. With their gifts was the hand print of a eight year old painted on a T-Shirt made for me. In his eyes I'm his dad. In God's eyes, I'm his dad.
There are others I'm called to father. They need my strength-a vigor provided by an external presence poured within me. In my weakness, God does great work in and through me. "I'm called to father the fatherless," I prayed in that moment. "More of you, less of me," I begged God to give.
God continues to speak. Be it in the gifts of loved ones or the death of our youth-God speaks. There is more of you to give. Give it! Do it! Be it! Don't just speak about it! Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.
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